.png) |
| Illustration from: The Lioness You can change your future. |
The Lioness: The Inevitable Silence
Once there was a girl at heart, one that’s truly never felt
a loss so close it could turn her world upside down.
I can
see her through the puzzle pieces, with each placement I get closer. I try to
call her forward, but my voice won’t allow words to form upon my lips.
There
are shadows in the corners. Glowing lights in rooms with no lights on.
My name being called, brought in by the wind. My senses are
seeking comfort, where they can find it.
I
should be able to rest, but silence is loud. Silence makes my heart pound as my
head screams just breathe.
My mind racing as my imagination kicks in when I know it’s
time to do a task I no longer need to do.
This is when I am awake and alone,
in my dreams it’s a little calmer but the lioness is there waiting for me to
break through the darkness, as I piece together the light needed to replace the
loss I hold so closely.
I hear her calling me, I am so
close to breaking through this darkness. With each puzzle piece, happy memories
replace the darkness, the light shines through giving me hope that the darkness
will not last.
Sometimes the light starts fading as
my head once again yells at me to breathe. But I won’t give up, I try to
replace the fading pieces and my puzzle starts to form the picture I seek.
It helps when I remind myself to
take a deep breath, redirect my thoughts, tell myself I can do this and when I
make it through the lioness will be right by my side. Then I can choose to talk through my feelings
and keep my mind busy with positive thoughts.
I question why I need to replace
the puzzle pieces each day. Shouldn’t placing them once be enough?
The lioness reminds me: Change and
grief take time to get used to, when you keep placing the light on top of the
dark, you can slowly push the darkness to the back of your mind, but that
process takes time. Even then one day, you may need to remind yourself that in
dark times the light is not far away, you just need to call it back to you,
because it will always come back when you take the time to try and understand.
.png)
